who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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