I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
