TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
