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honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize