So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
