Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
we're so committed to being not committed
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