Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
