so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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