I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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