My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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