i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
