I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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