I never want to see another naked old woman again.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
