I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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