Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
