its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
