I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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