i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
