Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
send nudes
from the living room?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
