Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
