Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
