cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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