just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
