You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
