mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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