did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
