doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
