If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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