at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
They took my balls.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
