I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
