I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize