Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
time to smoke my breakfast
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
