Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
