We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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