what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
