That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
the liver wants what the liver wants
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
