do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
why didn't you poke me back
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
