it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
