Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
