I'm eating all of the evidence.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
