Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
