Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
