she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
