Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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