I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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