fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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