i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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