I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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