bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
