if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
