I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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