but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize