It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
