Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
