It was confusing and full of hummus
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
