please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
