the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
