A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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