guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
