I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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