just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
