Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Randomize
