Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
