Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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