I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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